How It Feels Like Coming Home After A Year

I did not know where exactly was I going or how long would I be gone for. I was open to all opportunity out there and told my parents that I am not planning to be gone for a year, and instead, will take up anything that interests me. Maybe I will find a new purpose in life and it may not be what it is all about back home. Who knows exactly what life would bring?

“A year at least” was what I told my friends when sharing with them this trip that I was about to embark on. We shared what each of us would like to achieve in this one year, wished each other well and said to keep in touch often, not knowing when exactly will we meet each other again.

On the road

I had a base at first and things were more constant. Life, of course, was still as it is. Friends and family continued with what they have been doing, and I, exploring a city, travelling as planned. Keeping in touch with my family was not of any difficulties until I went to Central America where I was almost always on the move. In addition to always changing places, the limited internet access, and me being preoccupied with all the things out there on the road, made it harder to keep in touch. Altogether, “keeping in touch” was not as often as we had planned. Everyone have got their things to do and are busy as well.

A thought came to me halfway through the trip – my friends and family, would they have thought that i had abandoned them, that I was selfish to just leave on my own like that. But, I guess I think too much..

Coming home

People return home from their trip for all sorts of reasons – to attend a family member’s wedding, for a friend’s graduation, or they have simply “ended” their trip. Booking my flight home at the very last minute with no plans to return even the night before buying the ticket. Without even informing my family, I boarded the flight to Singapore. On board the airplane, instead of my family and friends whom I was about to meet soon, my mind was filled with what I am leaving behind and why was I on the plane.

No plans of surprising my family but they sure was surprised. Felt like a little girl playing tricks on her mom when i hid behind the door upon hearing the door opening and guessed that she came back from work. Laughed over all things silly as my parents and siblings were telling me how they all had a strong feeling that I was coming back and my dad even dreamt about it. But all these does not matter. It just felt great to be back home and happy to see their smiles.

After a year

Friends and Family have been incredibly hospitable – Parents was thinking that I must be drained from the trip, and asked me to rest for the moment and think about the rest later. The first evening was spent telling my family the reason that I’m back. Of course I had to. How worried and shocked my parents must have been. And the following days was with friends, sharing my experiences and getting to know their life now.

Meeting my friends was not how I thought it would be. I personally did not felt like I had actually been gone for a year. Other than having a lot to say, it was like we were all busy with work, with studies, any other commitments, and finally had the chance to catch up with another and have a meal together. Nothing really felt like out of the ordinary.

Lost

After all the catch ups and having enough rest, I am now getting bored. Though things are more or less the same in the evenings, dinner with friends and having a few badminton sessions throughout the week, daytime is a drag.

It used to be work from 9 – 5, then different plans for evenings. Now the “9 – 5″s are gone and I have yet to plan exactly on what I am going to do. I had actually planned on settling and working somewhere overseas at least for the year before coming home for next Lunar New Year reunion, and I should have been at it now. But of course that did not work out and that is why I am here.

What now

“So, are you looking for a job?” – a question I get often especially now, after 2 months.

With a year of plans scratched, very last minute too, I feel kind of lost now. And though it can be tough on the road at times, I know for sure I will not be home now if not for the breakup.

I am not planning on settling down, and definitely not a 9 – 5 job yet for sure. Maybe somewhere in the near future, maybe not. My heart is still out there, and pretty much yearning to be back on the road soon to explore.